by Kelsey Parker shared the very sad news that her third child, a son named Phoenix, was born dead.
Parker divided an update on Instagram on Sunday evening and wrote: “Phoenix Parker-Lindsay, they are loved forever” In addition to a moving poem entitled “For Phoenix, born, sleeping, loved forever”.
Phoenix was Parker’s first child with her partner Will Lindsay. She has two older children Aurelia (five) and Bodhi, four, from her marriage to the former singer Tom Parker, who died of brain cancer in 2022.
Podcaster Parker shared the heartbreaking messages and asked for space to mourn and wrote: “Before I get an influx of beautiful news and warm wishes, I just want to say that I really appreciate everything they will all say and share.
“But since the messages are so raw, I really want to make sure that as a family we have space and time to process these devastating and earth -sunker messages.”
What is stillbirth?
Dead birth is when a baby dies after 24 weeks of pregnancy before or during the labor. In England and Wales there were 2,612 dead births in 2023 – that are four out of 1,000 births -, according to Tommy’s pregnancy and baby.
In 2022 there were an estimated 110,426 to 156,089 miscarriages if a baby dies 24 weeks ago. A YouGov survey of 2023 showed that half of the adults in Great Britain said she or someone you know at least one form of pregnancy or baby loss.
While baby loss concerns many people, it can be difficult to know how to support someone.
Rowen Pailing, head of funeral funding services at Sands, the charity for pregnancy and baby loss in Great Britain.
4 ways to show support
Saying something is better than saying nothing
If someone has suffered a grief performance, it can be difficult to know what to say, but the bucketing says that it is important that they know that they are interested.
“What we hear from bereaved is that it can be incredibly insulating to lose a baby because people don’t know what to say or do,” she says. “We always say it is better to say something than nothing, because it is really important that the person who has lost a baby knows that they are there for them and that they think about them.”
She advises you to just keep it. “Something like ‘I think of you’ or ‘I’m sorry’ is absolutely fine. You can add: ‘You don’t have the feeling that you have to answer me, but if you need me, I am here.
This is a feeling that Marina Fogle is repeated. Fogle and her husband Ben, whose son Willem was born in 2014, said Tommy beforehand: “The worst thing they can do is not to recognize the loss at all.
Offer practical help
Bucketing recommends offering practical help, but if someone is experienced trauma of someone, you may not be in a place where you can make decisions.
“Preparing you for a meal and dropping it on your doorstep is a really easy thing, but can be incredibly helpful,” she says. “If you have other children, offer, take care of them and give them a little space to do household tasks …
“What is really helpful about these practical things is that you do not transfer it to the bereaved, to make a decision. You don’t say:” Oh, if I can do something, let me know.
Instead, she recommends something like saying that “I’m about to go to the supermarket. Can I let you shop?” So you have the opportunity to say “yes” or “no”.
Don’t try to do things better
While it is important to let people know that they think of them, Eimering states that there are some things that you should avoid.
“If someone has lost a baby, they will feel absolutely terrible and you cannot repair it for him. So it doesn’t help if you say things like” maybe it was the best “or” You can have another child, “she explains.
“Try to avoid minimizing your experiences or trying to feel better, instead of being there to keep you in this really difficult space and say: ‘I know that is really difficult, I am here when you need me.”
Think of the important data
While grief becomes less raw over time, says Pailing that it is important that the family and friends continue to support the bereaved.
“If someone has lost a baby, it is not the case that he got over it a week or a month later and everything was fine,” she says. “Parents may have the feeling that their experience was actually forgotten if people don’t remember it.
“Anniversaries are particularly important, things like the birthday or the day of the baby on which they died or what their due date would have been – especially in this first year. Only to drop a note to the parents and to know that they know how important this date is for them can help.”
Where can you get support if you have lost a baby
sand
The Sands website offers advice and support for bereaved, including a confidential helpline 0808 164 3332 and e -mail address helpline@sands.org.uk aND local and online support groups.
Tommy’s
Tommy’s has advice and support, including a helpline that is occupied by specialist midwives that you can 0800 0147 800 or e -mail Midwife@tommys.org and Facebook support groups.
Week of the loss awareness week
The Awareness Week website offers a helpful list of places that support bereaved and families.
